


An end is only a new beginning

by Bananasplit86



Series: Retirement stories [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Puppies, Retirement, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 14:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8332054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananasplit86/pseuds/Bananasplit86
Summary: Yann’s 37 and retired. He can still remember the day he called time on his career. He remembers the pain of it, the destruction that raged in his mind as he finally hung up his boots for good.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. Retirement fic.
> 
> I had an urge, what can I say.  
> I was going to make this just one thing, but the ending feels right here.  
> I hope you like this, and there may be some more retirement fics to come for other ships depending on how this goes.
> 
> (Not totally checked over for mistakes. If you see any, give me a shout!)  
> :DD
> 
> (I'm going to leave this open for all readers until after the weekend. I'll lock it on Sunday evening UK time.)

Yann’s 37 and retired. He can still remember the day he called time on his career. He remembers the pain of it, the destruction that raged in his mind as he finally hung up his boots for good. 

It was 3 years earlier. He was 34 and far too young. But his knee blew in a training session and as he lay there clutching his knee in shock he knew. He knew that it was bad, knew that there’d be an operation or two (3 in the end), and knew there'd be months upon months of rehab to get back to playing. So even before he had the injury scanned and tested he retired. He didn't tell anyone for a few days. Only Roman.

But then Roman had known the minute he'd walked into their house. He'd known when he'd seen Yann's face. He'd heard, of course, that Yann had gone down in training, heard that Yann had had to be carried from the field, and Yann knew that Roman could tell. It was in his eyes.

That night, for the first time in a long time, he'd cried over football. Or, the loss of it. Roman hadn't said much, he hadn't needed to, he just held Yann tightly as he cried through the emotional and physical pain. 

The day after, Roman had dropped him off at the clinic for his scan, and gone on to training with a worried smile and a soft kiss to Yann's forehead. Yann watched him go and limped inside with his crutches. He hated them, they hurt his hands more than a football ever could, and they increased the pain in his wrists more than he thought was possible. But he needed them and he knew he would for a long time.

He announced his retirement a week later with tears in his eyes and his voice breaking. The 18 month long rehab was just too much at his age and he couldn't do it to himself or to Roman. He couldn't string himself along knowing that he'd never make it back to the level he was at before. So he sat in the press conference and told Switzerland that he was through with playing football. 

So it's bittersweet being here. Here at Basel’s stadium, his stadium, as Roman is ending his own career. It's a weird ending, a twist of fate that brings Roman here to St Jakob-Park with Grasshopper, but one that makes Yann smile, despite the feelings coursing through his body and mind.

He watches quietly from the box that the club let him use from time to time and smiles as Roman makes a save to stop a certain goal. He still looks like he can play for years, body never ravaged with injury, only the usual aching wrists from the constant pressure placed upon them, and Yann wonders why he's retiring, why now?

But then his mind flicks to the brochures on their coffee table and he knows why now. Why he's chosen this time to do it, why he’s chosen to spend the rest of his time with him without football between them. 

It's a quiet affair, the game, with Roman having said his final goodbyes to Zürich and the fans the week before, and Yann is thankful for it. He's thankful for the relative privacy that Roman has as he walks from the pitch. Yann knows that he’ll be choked up. He knows that Roman will be wondering if he's doing the right thing or not, but he knows that in the end Roman is happy with his decision. 

He wanders down through the stadium, along well worn paths and familiar corridors, hands trailing along the walls he’s seen a thousand times, and finally stops when he reaches the tunnel. Should he step in there one more time and onto the pitch he once called home? He wonders what the grass will feel like beneath his feet again, will it feel sad and empty or will it feel like just a part of his life that's now gone by? A good memory. 

“Yann?” He's about to step through and feel the sun on his face when he hears Roman call out to him, and then a soft touch on the back of his neck. A touch of warmth and finality.

It's the first time that they've touched and not been footballers, the first time he's felt Roman's hands on him and not wondered if the trace of tape will ever go away, or if the callouses will eventually fade. He knows that they will, both of them and it brings a smile to his lips. 

He doesn’t turn to face him, he stays facing the pitch and sinks into the warmth of Roman, the arms and the feeling of home. That’s what Roman is. Home. And it’s really the first time he’s realised it. He guesses he’s known it for a while, but it’s never really hit him until now. Roman is where he wants to be and it could be anywhere and it would be still be home.

He smiles and nestles further, not caring who could see them. They’re retired now, it doesn’t matter anymore, they’re nobodies and they can just be. 

“I love you.” Roman whispers into him, lips brushing against his neck softly. “Thank you for being here.”

“I wouldn't have missed it for the world. You know that.” Yann smiles, running a hand over the arm wrapped around his waist. 

“I do.” 

He can feel the smile against his skin and he sighs happily. This is it. This is them. 

-

It's later, nearly dinner time and Yann can't seem to stop smiling. He really doesn't know why. It's just dinner. With Roman. But he's smiling like the Cheshire Cat. 

The smile widens when he looks over at Roman. He's on the balcony, looking out onto the garden and he's barely a shadow, the sun streaming in making it impossible to make him out fully. But he can make out the slope of his shoulders and the stretch of his arms as he leans on the rail, and Yann just… smiles. 

He wonders how long their peace will last. How long it will be just the two of them and the thought makes goosebumps rise on his skin as he cooks. He wonders if they’ll be able to live peacefully once everybody knows about them, but he has this feeling at the back of his mind that Switzerland already does. He twists the silver band around his finger and smiles again.

The next chapter is coming and he can’t wait for it.

-

“Do you think people already know about us?” Roman asks softly the next morning, sleep making his voice heavy.

“As careful as we were, yes, I do. We couldn’t hide everything and it can’t have escaped anyone’s attention that we’ve lived together since coming back, or that we came back together anyway, when you could’ve carried on in Germany for a few more years. Or you know, me coming to all your games the last few years. So yeah, I think they know about us.” 

“So your parent's wedding announcement next week shouldn’t cause too much of a stir then?” 

Roman's chuckling and the sound is heavenly to Yann. He could listen to that sound forever and a day, and the way he feels with it is perfect. He feels lighter than he has done in years. Neither of them has anywhere to go, they don’t even need to get dressed if they don’t want to, and the thought stirs Yann’s body.

They’re long past the stage of needing sex every day or even every two but Yann still gets the same butterflies in his stomach when he watches Roman undress and still gets the same stirring when Roman looks at him a certain way, but they crave intimacy of a different kind now. They crave closeness and still physical touches, but with less urgency as years ago. They crave a slow kiss or an evening spent side by side with a glass of wine and soft conversation. 

That’s not to say that sometimes Yann just can’t wait to tear off Roman’s clothes as soon as he gets in, but the priorities for them both have changed over the years, from a physical intimacy to one of more emotional intimacy and being together in every sense of the word.

There’s a glance and a touch from Roman that brings him back and Yann knows that today is going to be one of the days where they spend all day wrapped around each other, _inside_ each other and beside each other. He smiles at the thought and lets himself be pulled into a warm pair of arms and a soft pair of lips.

-

They spend their first week of joint retirement until the wedding announcement quietly, not really doing much, just relishing the feeling of being free from engagements, appointments and daily training sessions. It’s nice, Yann thinks almost daily.

Nice knowing that Roman will be there when he wakes, that Roman will be home for dinner and that he’ll be there when Yann goes to sleep. There’s something comforting and relieving about that. Yann used to be scared of how much he loved Roman and needed him. He used to be scared of how much he wanted Roman in his life. Especially in the beginning and through the early years, but now he embraces it and loves it. And he knows that Roman feels exactly the same.

He’d thought that retirement for Roman would bring them a new lease of life and he’s partly right. It has in the sense that they have the time to spend together without one being gone for a match for a few days, and in the sense that they can now spend aimless hours walking by the lake and swimming in it or taking a boat out. But then, nothing has really changed except that they’ve got the time to do that. They did those things before, just not as often, or as obviously.

Yann’s sipping his morning coffee when his phone beeps beside him.  
**From Valentin : Finally gone public with what everyone knew anyway… Congrats guys :D**

He grins and flashes the message at Roman who laughs through his eggs and then slides his phone to Yann.  
**From Marco Reus : I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!! JK. Happy for you both. Enjoy retirement and married life! x**

“Told you they all knew.” Yann winks. 

Where before they’d always walked side by side with the occasional brush of fingers, now they walk hand in hand by the lake, Roman’s fingers resting within his own, pressing into the ring that Roman had given to him when he’d proposed a few months earlier. Ever since Roman had officially retired there’s been a perpetual smile on Yann’s face and it only grows wider as Roman squeezes his hand and Yann spots that he’s rubbing his own ring with his thumb, something he’s never seen Roman do before.

“Can you believe that this is really happening?” Yann thinks out loud suddenly.

“What’s happening?” Roman asks, pulling Yann to a stop by the shore.

“This, us, marriage, possible adoption. All of this. Did you ever really think it could happen all those years ago when we started?”

“I guess not.” Roman muses. “But the world changes and this time it’s changed for the better for us. Now I get to be your husband in a few months and we finally get to adopt all the children we ever wanted. Sometimes people can surprise you.”

For the first time in 12 years Yann kisses Roman where anybody can see them, and he doesn’t care. He wants to. He needs to and it feels good. It feels good to feel the Swiss breeze against his skin as Roman holds him close and it feels good to feel the sun on his back as their lips meet for what feels like the first time.

And he just can’t stop smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding.  
> Puppy.  
> Baby.  
> Life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh. Sorry this took so long.
> 
> I was told earlier to issue a health warning for fluff, puppies and cute things.  
> So consider yourself warned.
> 
> (I hope I'll be saying you're welcome!)
> 
> (I also have no idea why it's double spaced. I may fix this. I may not.)

Yann’s nervous. His hands are shaking slightly and he has sweat beading on his forehead. Which is so not a good look when he’s supposed to be getting married in just over an hour. He stops and just sits for a few minutes, staring at his reflection in the hotel room mirror. His hair is falling across his face, just the right length to frame his face _and_ tuck it back behind his ears, as well as other things. He pushes it back and breathes deeply, his chest expanding slowly beneath his grey suit.

 

He doesn’t really understand why he’s nervous. He’s loved Roman right from their very first date and he’s been in love with him since the first kiss. Which was 12 years ago, and to call it a date is stretching it really. It was an early morning walk down the beach in Brazil at the World Cup and then a soft kiss, that Yann remembers as if it were yesterday. 

 

He remembers being drunk on love during the tournament, a perma-smile plastered to his face, despite only watching on from the sidelines - with Roman of course, knees and thighs pressed together as they sat side by side. He’s always wondered how they kept their time together there to just kissing and mild groping until they made it back to Switzerland once they’d been knocked out. 

 

But then, they were professionals and they were under orders for those few weeks. Orders which they stuck to. Which made it no surprise when Yann literally tore Roman’s shirt from his body when they finally made it home and stumbled into Roman’s apartment in Zurich. He still remembers the feel of Roman’s body under his hands that first time and the breathy moans that he pulled from Roman. They released weeks of pent up love and lust in that first night, barely managing more than 2 hours of sleep in between rounds of sex and naked kissing. 

 

He blushes slightly as he recalls that first night and smiles, that was the proper start of everything for them and it’s a fond memory, if a slightly x-rated one.

 

“He’s going to want you out of that suit as soon as he sees you.” Granit muses from the doorway, arms folded across his chest.

 

“Let’s hope he can wait then, I’m not sure my parents would appreciate that.” 

 

It’s a nervous joke but Granit laughs as he pushes himself from the frame and sits beside him.

 

“You’ve both practiced self control over the years, so I’m sure it’ll be ok. You know, I’m just surprised you managed to wait this long to make it official.”

“I know, but let’s face it, our career choices didn’t make it easy on us to be ourselves.” Yann sighs. “I’m so nervous Granit. This is what I’ve wanted for years, and now it’s here finally, and I’m nervous because I want it to be perfect for him and I don't want to fuck it up.”

“I’m sure he’s saying the same thing to Marco. It’s natural to be nervous on your wedding day. I was, it’s the rest of your life and something would be wrong if you weren’t nervous. But you were made for each other, we all know it and see it in the way you look at each other, and you know it too. Otherwise you’d have been done years ago, the hiding wouldn’t have been worth it. Embrace it and let’s go get your man.”

 

-

 

The wedding is small and quiet, with only family and close friends around them, and Yann is thankful for that. He doesn’t want to spend all day going round to talking to a lot of people, he wants to spend his time with Roman, revelling in the fact that he can finally call him his husband. He wants to laugh and smile and kiss Roman softly as their hands squeeze together. He wants to spend hours sitting with Roman by his side, talking to family, or just being with him. 

 

He wants _this_. Their friends and family with them when they finally commit to each other, when they finally make it official to the world.

 

The breath is shallower than he thought it would be, it's less nervous and more like this is exactly where he's supposed to be. He smiles at Roman, the soft smile that he shows only to him and squeezes his hands tightly. The feel of Roman's hands keep him grounded, they keep him from soaring like his body wants to. 

 

The returned smile is blinding and the words soft. 

 

“I will.” 

 

Yann's heart pounds in his chest, threatening to break through his ribs as his smile grows wider and wider. It's perfect. And he can hardly believe it. He's a husband and he has a husband. 

 

The clapping and cheers of joy bring him back and he just…. he can't stop himself. It feels so good. Roman’s lips, their first kiss as husbands, their first as being married.

 

“Husband.” Roman whispers against his lips and the word sends such joy through his body, as does the soft coldness of the gold band around his finger, pressing into the warmer band of silver. 

 

“Husband.” Yann repeats with a grin and just one more kiss.

 

-

 

He knows that he’s repeating himself but he can’t stop smiling. The grin feels like it’s been tattooed onto his face and he loves, despite the aching cheeks. Roman seems to love it too because he smiles just as hard. And it’s hard to feel any other way really. They’ve been blessed with overwhelmingly positive feedback from all corners of Europe; former teammates and opponents alike. 

 

Yann does grimace once when there’s a dissenting voice in some small town they visit for the chocolate factory, but it’s few and far between and for that he’s grateful. It doesn’t deter them though when it does happen, they just squeeze each other’s hands that little bit tighter and smile at each other that little bit brighter.

 

Whatever anybody else thinks doesn’t really matter that much, not in the grand scheme of things. Not to them anyway. All that matters is that they’re happy together.

 

They wait and wait, and enjoy life together, enjoy the feeling of being able to be Mr and Mr Sommer or Bürki depending on how feeling took them each day, and Yann loves it. He loves going out on dates with Roman, loves being able to be open with him where everyone can see; he loves holding Roman's hand across a restaurant table, with his fingers running over the ring and he loves being able to kiss Roman and not have to care about who sees them. He just loves being married.

 

He just wants the final piece of the puzzle. 

 

The waiting goes on for months and the call still doesn't come. And Yann's getting worried that it won't happen.

 

“Babe?” He hears Roman call softly as Roman comes back from grocery shopping. “Can you come help with the bags please?” 

 

“How much did you b-” Yann stops as he rounds the corner and see Roman.

 

There are no grocery bags at all, just a tiny bundle of golden fur in Roman's arms. 

 

“I know we only talked about it but Marco had this little one left and he called me about her asking if I had any friends who wanted a puppy and I fell in love when I saw her.”

 

Yann bites his lip. He should be annoyed that Roman did this without talking to him first, but he's always wanted a dog and just never could before. Living alone made it difficult to keep one when he was away so often. So he’s not mad in the slightest.

 

“Isn't she cute?” He hears the pleading in Roman's voice and he can't help but break into a smile. 

 

“Can I….” he gestures at the puppy. 

 

Roman nods and steps to him to hand the puppy over. Yann grins as Roman's hands press into him and then a soft kiss is pressed to the corner of his lips. “I'll go get the groceries then.”

 

It's a few days later when the name for her finally sticks and Yann sighs happily as Roman cradles Maisie against his chest on the sofa, giggling as she tries to attack his face with her tongue. Yann perches next to them and laughs along, unable to contain himself. It's just a perfect slice of domestic bliss and Maisie was preparing them for the tiredness and joy that comes with caring for a child. 

 

“You're so cute.” He smiles, patting Roman's thigh softly.

 

“Me, or her?” 

 

As an answer Yann leans into him and kisses him gently, lingering over his lips carefully, aware of the tiny creature perched between them. “I love y- ugh! She's licking my neck!”

 

Roman throws his head back quickly and laughs. A sound Yann could listen to for hours if given the chance.

 

“I think she likes you.” 

 

-

 

The months pass by and Yann feels like he’s losing hope. It shouldn’t be taking this long should it? They should have been contacted by now surely. 

 

To push the doubts away, he throws himself into long walks with Maisie, making sure she’s happy and loved, never wanting for anything, despite protests from Roman that he’s far too soft with her. He knows she shouldn’t sleep in the bed with him when Roman is out, but he can’t help it. It’s warm and fuzzy and cute and he adores it. He just wishes it was a child and not a dog. 

He wishes he could snuggle up with his child with Maisie resting on Roman or the other way round. He wishes he was taking their child on the long walks as well, pushing the pram along slowly as Maisie plays in the grass (or the lake). He wishes that he and Roman could spend hours cooing over their child and the curl up asleep with each other, the tiny soothing sounds of their child’s sleep sending them to sleep over the monitor.

 

He sighs and pets Maisie carefully as she sits on his lap, head resting on his knees. He should be happy, he knows he should. He has more than most people in the world. He has love and support and a soulmate, but there’s an empty space (or two) in his heart and it’s painful.

 

The phone rings and he lets Roman get it as his fingers twist through Maisie’s soft fur slowly. The gasp fills the room and then silence hits and Yann pulls Maisie to his chest and stands to look at Roman. He’s still and has tears in his eyes, a hand pressed to the table as the other grips the phone tightly.

 

“Thank you.” Roman says and hangs up. “We’ve been picked.” He whispers, hands reaching out to Yann. “We’ve been picked. We’ve got a baby.”

 

Yann just… his heart swells and Maisie wriggles against his chest, nosing at his throat as Roman wraps him in his arms and kisses him tenderly. 

 

“We’ve got a baby.” He repeats back to Roman as Roman squeezes him. “We’ve - oh god Roman. We’re gonna be parents.” 

 

He’s flying. Maybe he does have everything after all.

 

-

 

“Orange? No Roman. No way.”

“It’s pastel peach babe. It’s hardly orange. You haven’t even looked at the colour so how do you know that you’ll hate it?”

 

“Because it’s still orange, _babe_ , no matter how you try to spin it. What’s wrong with yellow or green or purple? Do you not remember that disastrous season when we both had orange kits and we looked stupid?”

 

“Just because you picked your luminous kit and looked daft doesn’t mean I did, and really, that’s no reason to veto pastel peach as the colour.”

 

Yann pinches the bridge of his nose. He knows he’s being stubborn and bitchy and he shouldn’t be taking it out on Roman, but he’s so anxious. He just wants the baby as soon as possible. Every day that the baby is still not born is another day that their dream can be ripped away from them.

 

He sighs. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Can I see the colour then please?” 

 

It’s actually really nice and he has to admit that it’ll be a great colour for the nursery, so he agrees and the smile that lights Roman’s face is worth it. The soft hand on his cheek is warm and comforting but also slightly smug too. 

 

“Buy it before I change my mind.” He whispers with a roll of his eyes.

 

-

 

He's pacing. He knows that it's irrational, he knows that he’ll wear a crater in the tiles of the hospital floor if he carries on, but he can't help it, he's nervous and worried and anxious. It's taking so long. He never realised that it could take so long, that labour could just go on and on and on. But it has and he's almost shaking when Roman grasps his hand and pulls him to a stop.

 

“Stop. Just sit. Everything is ok Yann. It'll be fine. Stop worrying.” 

 

He sighs and sits next to him, fingers squeezing Roman's hand as hard as possible. “I know, I just can’t. We've waited for so long for this and it's nearly here but I'm just scared it'll be taken away from us at the last second.” 

 

“I am too, but whatever will happen will happen, and we’ll cope with it. We've got each other after all.”

 

Yann marvels at Roman's strength and eases the grip he has on Roman's hand, instead stroking his thumb across the back of it slowly in silent thanks as he rests his head on Roman's shoulder. 

 

It's another 3 hours, 15 in total, before the doctor comes out smiling at them. “Mr Sommer, Mr Bürki, congratulations. You've got a healthy, beautiful baby girl in there.”

 

Yann's chest clenches tightly with happiness and he leans back up to grin at his husband briefly. “Can we see her?” 

 

“In a little while yes. The nurse will take through to the cribs shortly, once she's all cleaned up.”

 

Yann feels Roman nod and hears the quiet thank you as the doctor strides away from them.

 

“A girl.” He whispers to no one in particular. “We have a daughter.” 

 

-

 

Yann can't stop beaming, it feels like life is perfect for him. For them. Maisie is dashing around his ankles, licking and nosing at his bare skin as he cradles Elena against his chest singing quietly. 

 

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind for them; filled with the type of learning that Yann's always wanted. He's tired to the bone, but it makes him happy, more happy than he ever imagined. He has a husband who he loves more than life itself and who loves him just as much. He has a puppy that loves them both unconditionally, and keeps them grounded. And he has a daughter who completes the puzzle.

 

He laughs as Roman scoops Maisie from the floor; tail wagging quickly against his torso with a soft thump; and he sighs into the gentle kiss that Roman presses to his lips as Maisie whines quietly and Elena gurgles and pulls at his hair. 

 

Everything is as it should be and life after football is just beginning. 

 

And Yann smiles. 

 

Just for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about smurf goalie retirements next..... y/y?

**Author's Note:**

> I would really really really love to know what you think of this.
> 
> Feedback is so so important for any writer! Thank you for reading! :-*


End file.
